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Sunday, September 9, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Online Dating Dilemmas
By Jeremy Konst
Navigating the online dating scene can become an overwhelming situation; these articles will help steer you in the right direction.
There are a few common scenarios that many online daters eventually experience, and each one can seem like a stumbling block, impeding the way to a happier, brighter love life. The most common experienceв Ђ”and often one of the first —is the impulse sign up period; you browse a couple promising profiles that catch your interest, and you can ’t help but to rush and sign up, posting a first draft profile. The second most common experience is that moment of first contact, but you’re unsure of how to proceed, or that if you should take down your profile entirely. And then there’s that online dating overload sensation, a feeling of burn out. We can help; follow our advice for a more enjoyable online dating adventure.
Ok, I’ve just created a new profile, and I’m ready to meet new people, but how do I proceed? What do I do?
So you’ve just signed up and are ready to take the online dating world by storm. You may be tempted to contact a multitude of people—anyone with blue eyes or within a decent driving distance; this “spam” approach to online dating is a bad move. This desperate approach really won’t get you very far in the online dating world. Pick five to six people and see if anyone of them works out; if not, move on to several more. Don’t overwhelm yourself, casting out a big dating net, seeing if someone bites—you’re not on a race against time. Take it easy my friend; have fun and enjoy yourself.
It’s always wise to keep your dating prospects to a manageable number. You don’t want to become disorganized, mixing up profiles, confusing and tangling interests, hobbies and turnoffs with a myriad of individuals. Is Susie the one who likes combining rocky road with strawberry ice cream, or is she the one who dislikes rainy days? Is it Brad or Steven who would rather curl up with a good mystery novel than watch a Lakers game? I can’t remember! Keeping notes is a good way to manage all your contacts; you don’t want them thinking that you have a hundred people in your dating queue. Don’t give them the wrong impression.
By reading a few emails, it’s very common for people to believe that they’ve found their true soul mate. Every word that person writes in their email strikes a romantic chord, and you can’t seem to find a single flaw—they’re perfect! Don’t build up your expectations too high; you’ve only just passed the first of many stages. After then initial email exchanges, start with a few friendly phone chats. Get to know the person on an intellectual level; you may soon discover that your potential hook up doesn’t quite fit the image you had in your mind, and this could save you a lot of wasted energy. Three weeks is a good amount of time before you’re ready for the next level—the first in-person meeting!
Our connection is perfect; we’re getting serious. What do I do now?
There comes a time when you ask yourself “is it time to take down my profile?” You’ve found your prefect match and now you’re wondering about your profile floating around in dating wonderland. The essential question is basically this: “is this the only person I want to see?” If the answer is yes, then you should have no reservations about taking down your profile. You may be tempted to wait for the other person to take down their profile first, taking that as a sign to reciprocate their good intentions. It’s up to you. The best course would be to just take down your profile when you feel the time is right, and don’t even tell the other person; chances are they’ll see that you have and will ask you about it.
Don’t torture yourself by incessantly checking your newly found sweetheart’s profile, crossing your fingers, hoping that it has been taken down for good. Avoid this—if you find yourself constantly performing repetitive profile checks, go do something else; watch TV, read a book, exercise—anything to avoid the urge to spy. If you simply can’t stop the nagging urges, there’s a simple solution: just ask!
Resist the notion of raising a guilt trip, claiming that since you’ve taken your profile down, it’s high time that they do the same. And don’t perform the grade school antic of “if you don’t take it down, I don’t want to see you anymore”. For starters, simply state that you feel a nice connection with them; ask them if they are ready to date you exclusively. If your potential lover says no, then you’ll have to decide if you can live with that person keeping their “options open”, so to speak. Often, confidence is a major turn on—it greatly amplifies your adventurous, outgoing personality; if they don’t want to take down their profile just yet, you way want to reply with something like: “Well, that’s cool with me, but I don’t think you’ll find another catch like me anywhere else.”
I’m experiencing dating overload; am I becoming jaded towards online dating?
It’s often a good idea to take a hiatus from the online social scene—take breaks for reflection and to replenish your spirit. Scrolling through the profiles of hundreds of potential mates can become tiresome, and you may even feel like giving up the search all together. The best advice is not to give up. The jaded feelings that are swirling around inside your head are—like all things in life—temporary. Go offline and take a break from your computer. Don’t check back until a couple weeks have passed; you need time to rejuvenate—you’ll be glad you did.
Once you get back into the mix, you’ll need to perform an analysis of what went wrong the last time you were sweetheart hunting. What are you doing that needs improvement? Are you asking for dates too soon? Do you have a picture up on your profile?
Like everything in life, excess in anything is never a good idea. Limiting the amount of time you spend online can be very beneficial—long bouts of searching is sure to make your eyes bulge and your head pop. Always give yourself some time to rest your head and eyes. Step away for a few hours—during this window of time new people may have signed up, boosting your excitement and chances of finding that special someone.
Navigating the online dating scene can become an overwhelming situation; these articles will help steer you in the right direction.
There are a few common scenarios that many online daters eventually experience, and each one can seem like a stumbling block, impeding the way to a happier, brighter love life. The most common experienceв Ђ”and often one of the first —is the impulse sign up period; you browse a couple promising profiles that catch your interest, and you can ’t help but to rush and sign up, posting a first draft profile. The second most common experience is that moment of first contact, but you’re unsure of how to proceed, or that if you should take down your profile entirely. And then there’s that online dating overload sensation, a feeling of burn out. We can help; follow our advice for a more enjoyable online dating adventure.
Ok, I’ve just created a new profile, and I’m ready to meet new people, but how do I proceed? What do I do?
So you’ve just signed up and are ready to take the online dating world by storm. You may be tempted to contact a multitude of people—anyone with blue eyes or within a decent driving distance; this “spam” approach to online dating is a bad move. This desperate approach really won’t get you very far in the online dating world. Pick five to six people and see if anyone of them works out; if not, move on to several more. Don’t overwhelm yourself, casting out a big dating net, seeing if someone bites—you’re not on a race against time. Take it easy my friend; have fun and enjoy yourself.
It’s always wise to keep your dating prospects to a manageable number. You don’t want to become disorganized, mixing up profiles, confusing and tangling interests, hobbies and turnoffs with a myriad of individuals. Is Susie the one who likes combining rocky road with strawberry ice cream, or is she the one who dislikes rainy days? Is it Brad or Steven who would rather curl up with a good mystery novel than watch a Lakers game? I can’t remember! Keeping notes is a good way to manage all your contacts; you don’t want them thinking that you have a hundred people in your dating queue. Don’t give them the wrong impression.
By reading a few emails, it’s very common for people to believe that they’ve found their true soul mate. Every word that person writes in their email strikes a romantic chord, and you can’t seem to find a single flaw—they’re perfect! Don’t build up your expectations too high; you’ve only just passed the first of many stages. After then initial email exchanges, start with a few friendly phone chats. Get to know the person on an intellectual level; you may soon discover that your potential hook up doesn’t quite fit the image you had in your mind, and this could save you a lot of wasted energy. Three weeks is a good amount of time before you’re ready for the next level—the first in-person meeting!
Our connection is perfect; we’re getting serious. What do I do now?
There comes a time when you ask yourself “is it time to take down my profile?” You’ve found your prefect match and now you’re wondering about your profile floating around in dating wonderland. The essential question is basically this: “is this the only person I want to see?” If the answer is yes, then you should have no reservations about taking down your profile. You may be tempted to wait for the other person to take down their profile first, taking that as a sign to reciprocate their good intentions. It’s up to you. The best course would be to just take down your profile when you feel the time is right, and don’t even tell the other person; chances are they’ll see that you have and will ask you about it.
Don’t torture yourself by incessantly checking your newly found sweetheart’s profile, crossing your fingers, hoping that it has been taken down for good. Avoid this—if you find yourself constantly performing repetitive profile checks, go do something else; watch TV, read a book, exercise—anything to avoid the urge to spy. If you simply can’t stop the nagging urges, there’s a simple solution: just ask!
Resist the notion of raising a guilt trip, claiming that since you’ve taken your profile down, it’s high time that they do the same. And don’t perform the grade school antic of “if you don’t take it down, I don’t want to see you anymore”. For starters, simply state that you feel a nice connection with them; ask them if they are ready to date you exclusively. If your potential lover says no, then you’ll have to decide if you can live with that person keeping their “options open”, so to speak. Often, confidence is a major turn on—it greatly amplifies your adventurous, outgoing personality; if they don’t want to take down their profile just yet, you way want to reply with something like: “Well, that’s cool with me, but I don’t think you’ll find another catch like me anywhere else.”
I’m experiencing dating overload; am I becoming jaded towards online dating?
It’s often a good idea to take a hiatus from the online social scene—take breaks for reflection and to replenish your spirit. Scrolling through the profiles of hundreds of potential mates can become tiresome, and you may even feel like giving up the search all together. The best advice is not to give up. The jaded feelings that are swirling around inside your head are—like all things in life—temporary. Go offline and take a break from your computer. Don’t check back until a couple weeks have passed; you need time to rejuvenate—you’ll be glad you did.
Once you get back into the mix, you’ll need to perform an analysis of what went wrong the last time you were sweetheart hunting. What are you doing that needs improvement? Are you asking for dates too soon? Do you have a picture up on your profile?
Like everything in life, excess in anything is never a good idea. Limiting the amount of time you spend online can be very beneficial—long bouts of searching is sure to make your eyes bulge and your head pop. Always give yourself some time to rest your head and eyes. Step away for a few hours—during this window of time new people may have signed up, boosting your excitement and chances of finding that special someone.
Marriage is Good for Your Health, Wealth, and Happiness
By Barbara Bartlein
Marriage keeps you healthy, US government researchers reported in December.
According to a new study by the Center for Disease Control, married people are less likely to smoke, drink heavily or be physically inactive. They are less likely than singles, divorcees or widowed adults to be in fair or poor health and are less likely to suffer from headaches or psychological problems.
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“It could by the вЂ˜Nag Factor,’” according to Barbara Bartlein, author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? 12.5 Strategies for a Happy Marriage. “ Spouses tend to nag each other about health related issues such as smoking, drinking, risky behavior and receiving regular medical care.”
Ironically, people have climbed the ladder of success by working long hours and taking on extra projects, often sacrificing time with family. Now, new research demonstrates that they would actually be healthier, wealthier and happier if they concentrated more on their marriage.
There appears to be grave consequences for couples that call it quits too easily that have not been addressed in previous studies. We have created disposable marriages in a throw away culture with little regard to the personal costs for the individual and family.
If you are looking for a long and healthy life, marriage may be part of the answer. Married folks tend to live longer and healthier than their single, divorced or widowed counterparts. And while my husband would claim that it just feels longer, the statistics demonstrate this is true.
*Non-marrieds have significantly higher rates of mortality; 50% higher among women and 250% higher among men.
*For men, staying married boosts the chance of surviving to age 65 from about 2 out of three to almost 9 out of 10. elite dating on_line dating
*The unmarried are far more likely to die from all causes, including coronary heart disease, stroke, pneumonia, cancer, cirrhosis, automobile accidents, murder, and suicide.
*Being married improves the mental health for both men and women—there is someone to talk to. Spouses discuss their worries, dreams and disappointments with their partners, which helps relieve stress and anxiety. on-line dating? best on-line dating
*Researcher also found that there were positives effects from the “nag factor.” This is; the routine nagging that spouses do to encourage a positive lifestyle and decrease destructive habits such as smoking or drinking to excess.
best on-line dating
A healthy marriage may also be the starting point for a growing net worth. Not only is divorce very costly in the short run, the long-term effects of not being married dramatically affect how financially secure you become.
Consider:
*The longer people stay married, the greater their wealth accumulations.
*At retirement, a typical married couple has accumulated about $410,000 compared to about $167,000 for never married, about $145,000 for divorced and just under $96,000 for the separated.
*Spouses have better health and life insurance coverage.
*The married have increased access to pensions and social security.
*Being married provides “insurance.” In case of death, spouses almost always leave their worldly goods—Social Security and pension benefits to their wives or husbands. By getting married, spouses create an “annuity value” that is equal to increasing one’s wealth by 12-14 percent at age thirty and by 30 percent at age seventy-five compared to staying single.
*Married people behave more responsibly about money because they have more responsibilities. By pooling money, labor, and time, married people create far more opportunities for building wealth.
*There also is a value to IN LAWS—They tend to help a family when needed. In laws also provide potential access to inheritance. About 29% of married couples received financial help from in-laws and about a quarter of families with children received financial transfers in the past five years.
In spite of the jokes and comedy routines, married folks also tend to be happier than their single counterparts. Married men and women report less depression, less anxiety, and lower levels of other types of psychological distress than do those who are single, divorced, or widowed.
*Widowed and divorces persons are about three times as likely to commit suicide.
*Marital status is one of the most important predictors of happiness. 40% of the married said they are very happy with their life in general, compared to just under a quarter of those who were single or who were cohabiting.
best on-line dating
The commitment to make marriage a priority will have a tremendous impact on your life. The success prescription for health, wealth and happiness: Work as hard on your marriage as you do on your career
Marriage keeps you healthy, US government researchers reported in December.
According to a new study by the Center for Disease Control, married people are less likely to smoke, drink heavily or be physically inactive. They are less likely than singles, divorcees or widowed adults to be in fair or poor health and are less likely to suffer from headaches or psychological problems.
international dating/ dating on_line elite dating
“It could by the вЂ˜Nag Factor,’” according to Barbara Bartlein, author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? 12.5 Strategies for a Happy Marriage. “ Spouses tend to nag each other about health related issues such as smoking, drinking, risky behavior and receiving regular medical care.”
Ironically, people have climbed the ladder of success by working long hours and taking on extra projects, often sacrificing time with family. Now, new research demonstrates that they would actually be healthier, wealthier and happier if they concentrated more on their marriage.
There appears to be grave consequences for couples that call it quits too easily that have not been addressed in previous studies. We have created disposable marriages in a throw away culture with little regard to the personal costs for the individual and family.
If you are looking for a long and healthy life, marriage may be part of the answer. Married folks tend to live longer and healthier than their single, divorced or widowed counterparts. And while my husband would claim that it just feels longer, the statistics demonstrate this is true.
*Non-marrieds have significantly higher rates of mortality; 50% higher among women and 250% higher among men.
*For men, staying married boosts the chance of surviving to age 65 from about 2 out of three to almost 9 out of 10. elite dating on_line dating
*The unmarried are far more likely to die from all causes, including coronary heart disease, stroke, pneumonia, cancer, cirrhosis, automobile accidents, murder, and suicide.
*Being married improves the mental health for both men and women—there is someone to talk to. Spouses discuss their worries, dreams and disappointments with their partners, which helps relieve stress and anxiety. on-line dating? best on-line dating
*Researcher also found that there were positives effects from the “nag factor.” This is; the routine nagging that spouses do to encourage a positive lifestyle and decrease destructive habits such as smoking or drinking to excess.
best on-line dating
A healthy marriage may also be the starting point for a growing net worth. Not only is divorce very costly in the short run, the long-term effects of not being married dramatically affect how financially secure you become.
Consider:
*The longer people stay married, the greater their wealth accumulations.
*At retirement, a typical married couple has accumulated about $410,000 compared to about $167,000 for never married, about $145,000 for divorced and just under $96,000 for the separated.
*Spouses have better health and life insurance coverage.
*The married have increased access to pensions and social security.
*Being married provides “insurance.” In case of death, spouses almost always leave their worldly goods—Social Security and pension benefits to their wives or husbands. By getting married, spouses create an “annuity value” that is equal to increasing one’s wealth by 12-14 percent at age thirty and by 30 percent at age seventy-five compared to staying single.
*Married people behave more responsibly about money because they have more responsibilities. By pooling money, labor, and time, married people create far more opportunities for building wealth.
*There also is a value to IN LAWS—They tend to help a family when needed. In laws also provide potential access to inheritance. About 29% of married couples received financial help from in-laws and about a quarter of families with children received financial transfers in the past five years.
In spite of the jokes and comedy routines, married folks also tend to be happier than their single counterparts. Married men and women report less depression, less anxiety, and lower levels of other types of psychological distress than do those who are single, divorced, or widowed.
*Widowed and divorces persons are about three times as likely to commit suicide.
*Marital status is one of the most important predictors of happiness. 40% of the married said they are very happy with their life in general, compared to just under a quarter of those who were single or who were cohabiting.
best on-line dating
The commitment to make marriage a priority will have a tremendous impact on your life. The success prescription for health, wealth and happiness: Work as hard on your marriage as you do on your career
Dating And Being Single - Discover Your Best
Dating can be a great thing, but taking a break can be great as well. After a long relationship, some people feel as if they have lost themselves. Women are particularly bad at feeling this way! But, men are no strangers to these feelings as well.
If you have ever felt in a relationship that you are someone else because of your partner, you know exactly what I am talking about. Who knew that taking a break from being single could allow you to grow as a person and learn. Here is how to improve your life while you are single! These tips can help you not only in your future love life, but also in your career, with friends and just everyday interactions with others.
Time Heals All
While you have time to yourself, it can be a very healing process. When you are always tending to others needs you generally forfeit your own needs and desires. This is a great way to get yourself back together and pamper yourself just a little bit. When we do not take the time to care for ourselves and fall in love with ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to do so? It is impossible for anyone to love someone that does not love themselves.
Time also heals wounds and broken hearts that can cause damage to future relationships. As time passes by you will have a chance to forget all of those nasty things that your ex-lover did or said and put them behind you. You must forgive to move forward, notice we didn’t say forget, but forgive. It is almost impossible to forget things that have hurt you, but you must move past them.
Self Acceptance – I am Who I am
Sometimes during a break from a dating relationship, people become involved in a self-destructive or some times even a self-hatred cycle. They may blame themselves for the faulty relationship and really carry this anger on for years. Not only does this anger and destruction put the person in a bad mood, but it can also cause tremendous health concerns. Did you know that high blood pressure, anxiety and sickness have been attributed to stress? What do you think this anger and frustration does to the internal organs, that's right it eats away at them. You may be a young man or woman, but your internal organs and heart can only take so much abuse. You need to find a way whether it be reading a self-help book, counseling or a support group to let go of your anger. It will tear you up inside and cause others to not want to be around you. internet dating? on-line dating
So you are a little older, heavier and less hair? Who is perfect? No one, so do not be so hard on yourself. Appreciate what you do have and avoid sitting and feeling sorry for yourself because you do not look like a supermodel. Those people are not real, they are make believe with photo trickery, airbrushes and tons of makeup. No flaw or blemish on them, but that is because it has all been touched up. So enjoy what you have and feel blessed instead of disappointed.
Set New Goals
A great way to promote a healthy self is to set goals and plan how you want your life to be. Many people believe whether it is a dating relationship or their career that they are bystanders in their own life. This "bystander" theory could not be further from the truth. If you sit back and wait for things to happen, they never will. You have to take the "bull by the horns" so to speak and direct your own life. If you don’t do it, then who will? Is anyone else looking out for your best interests, financial situation or dating relationship? The answer is no, this is your job.
The best way to ensure that you are getting what you want is to set goals and plan out how you will achieve them. This is not hard to do, it just takes time, patience and a little bit of self-discipline. Write down your goals; list how you can achieve them and then DO IT!
If you have ever felt in a relationship that you are someone else because of your partner, you know exactly what I am talking about. Who knew that taking a break from being single could allow you to grow as a person and learn. Here is how to improve your life while you are single! These tips can help you not only in your future love life, but also in your career, with friends and just everyday interactions with others.
Time Heals All
While you have time to yourself, it can be a very healing process. When you are always tending to others needs you generally forfeit your own needs and desires. This is a great way to get yourself back together and pamper yourself just a little bit. When we do not take the time to care for ourselves and fall in love with ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to do so? It is impossible for anyone to love someone that does not love themselves.
Time also heals wounds and broken hearts that can cause damage to future relationships. As time passes by you will have a chance to forget all of those nasty things that your ex-lover did or said and put them behind you. You must forgive to move forward, notice we didn’t say forget, but forgive. It is almost impossible to forget things that have hurt you, but you must move past them.
Self Acceptance – I am Who I am
Sometimes during a break from a dating relationship, people become involved in a self-destructive or some times even a self-hatred cycle. They may blame themselves for the faulty relationship and really carry this anger on for years. Not only does this anger and destruction put the person in a bad mood, but it can also cause tremendous health concerns. Did you know that high blood pressure, anxiety and sickness have been attributed to stress? What do you think this anger and frustration does to the internal organs, that's right it eats away at them. You may be a young man or woman, but your internal organs and heart can only take so much abuse. You need to find a way whether it be reading a self-help book, counseling or a support group to let go of your anger. It will tear you up inside and cause others to not want to be around you. internet dating? on-line dating
So you are a little older, heavier and less hair? Who is perfect? No one, so do not be so hard on yourself. Appreciate what you do have and avoid sitting and feeling sorry for yourself because you do not look like a supermodel. Those people are not real, they are make believe with photo trickery, airbrushes and tons of makeup. No flaw or blemish on them, but that is because it has all been touched up. So enjoy what you have and feel blessed instead of disappointed.
Set New Goals
A great way to promote a healthy self is to set goals and plan how you want your life to be. Many people believe whether it is a dating relationship or their career that they are bystanders in their own life. This "bystander" theory could not be further from the truth. If you sit back and wait for things to happen, they never will. You have to take the "bull by the horns" so to speak and direct your own life. If you don’t do it, then who will? Is anyone else looking out for your best interests, financial situation or dating relationship? The answer is no, this is your job.
The best way to ensure that you are getting what you want is to set goals and plan out how you will achieve them. This is not hard to do, it just takes time, patience and a little bit of self-discipline. Write down your goals; list how you can achieve them and then DO IT!
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